5 Reasons
by iloveeugiene
Summary: I fix my gaze on him, the one who took her. She was mine, my gold star but she's his now. Puckleberry or Finchel? Guess who?
1. 1st Reason

5 Reasons to let her go

1st reason: I let her go 

I see her. In the hallway on the way to Spanish. I see her, with him. We should never have broken up. God, I messed up...again. I feel a sharp pain in my chest and in my stomach, when he tucks her hair behind her ear, gazing into her huge doe eyes before leaning in, to kiss her cheek. I can see from here, about ten lockers away, that she's turned a beautiful red.

I'm still staring as Mike bangs on about Tina in one ear and Sam yammering on about Quinn in the other, but all I can see is them, and I can't breathe.

'Am I dying? I can still feel this pain so I can't be.'

I can't stop thinking about her, but it's like she's forgotten about me? And I can feel my heart literally break when I see her lean up pulling him in by his neck and kissing him on the forehead.

'Does she kiss him like she used to kiss me?'

I get roughly pushed aside, snapping my attention away from...them and fix my mouth into a glare, to see Santana and Brittany walking towards her, well Brittany's skipping...Santana says something to _her, _making her look up at him apologetically before letting herself be dragged away, Santana blowing him a mocking kiss.

I fix my gaze on him, the one who took her. She was mine, my gold star but she's his now. A group of Cheerios' walk up to him , popping out their hips as they walk, they stumble over to him he's still looking in _her _direction. That is until the blondest, and I don't mean hair, grabbed him arm and started stroking it in what was meant to be a 'seductive' way, and asked him something. I jump at the chance to see if he is still the douche bag I've always known.

Instead he shrugs her off, his face twists into his patented glare, his eyes suddenly lighting up in an unbaddass way, not that he's admit it, way as he hears his name coming from her direction, pushing past the Cheeri-ho's and swaggering, noticably faster than usual, down the hall to her.


	2. 2nd Reason

**DISCLAIMER! I do not own Glee or anything other than the plot!**

Reason 2: I don't deserve her

I lay in my room, counting the stars she glued to my ceiling. I didn't even notice that she had made them into a heart until three days ago, in this same position, thinking the exact same thing.

'I should have put her first. What is the point of being popular enough not to get slushied if I can't protect her or even help her?'

She was so happy yesterday, her eyes were smiling, as well as her mouth. She got slushied and he did what I never could. He protected her. I almost felt bad for the dude that did it, Almost. I hope that _His_ fistprint will never go away and he'll be marked as a douche bag for the rest of his sad little life. I should have been able to do that. Why didn't I do that?

I'm trying to overcome this burning, gaping feeling in my chest. Trying to tell myself that I'm happy for them, he's good to her. He puts her above everything EVEN FOOTBALL! I always put myself, my popularity and my football above her. In fact I almost judge her for not breaking up with me sooner!

She was...is amazing, not just at singing but at being 'Rachel'. She was my best friend, I could talk to her, if I was finding school hard, so normally, if I had family problems or if I was just depressed. She was there, just listening, only talking when she felt I wanted her to, she wasn't as loud or demanding as everyone thinks she isonce you really get to know her, she's chilled out and awesome than the one everyone thinks she is.

I alwaays smile when i hear her ranting at a teacher or another student because she basically gets out all of her talking and all her singing and we'd go to one of our houses and just watch a movie or talk, it's amazing how long I can talk when I'm with her. It's like we change personalities.

And as soon as I remember that I can't do that anymore. He's got her now, he's got everything I come with her.

Her legs that go on for days

How she has to jump to reach the plates.

The way she bites her lip when she's nervous.

After she sings, she licks her lip and smile

How she'd bite my lip when we kissed

How soft her lips were

When she wakes up the softness of her voice.

Her voice, how powerful it gets when she sings.

And most of all how much I loved her, the way my stomsch clenched when she told me she loved me.

I could never believe she loved me. I wanted to but I couldn't. I lost count of hiw many times, she told me. I barley ever told her back, I told her once or twice, but I thought she already knew.

I feel a tear creep slowly down my cheek, I wipe it away roughly only to feel another one. I turn around and punch my pillow.

'Why?'

I hit it again.

'Why did I-'

I punch it one more time.

'-Let her go?'

I wince as my knuckles make contact with my headboard. I collapse back onto my bad, before screaming into the pillow.

"RACH! I choke, not even able to finish her name.

I fall asleep somewhere between the screaming and crying, waking up to a headache nd puffy eyeballs.

Bracing myself for another day of Them, I get ready for school.


	3. 3rd Reason

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything other than the plot!**

**You find out who 'He' is and who our leading role is! XD Hope ya like it!**

3rd Reason: I'm not good enough

"'Kay, guys! We're done for today! Shower up!" Bieste bellows clapping her hands as we all stumble over to the locker rooms.

"Hey Puckerman!" Azimo and Karofsky walk up past our lockers.

"What?" He replies, deadpanned voice.

"After lunch, we gone douse Berry!" Azimo grins, not noticing the shocked looks and head shaking of the rest of the team, I guess not everyone knew.

"YEAH! You wants in?" Karofsky asks as he and Azimo high 5, only to find Azimo on the floor two seconds later.

"You leave Berry 'lone 'kay If you don't I can guarantee I will beat your ass so hard I'LL be able to feel it!" He growls down at Azimo and looks up at Karofsky.

"Shit! YOU'RE Berry's new bitch?" He splutters.

I feel that twinge as he says Rachel's name. I want to be the one defending her, not him! Rachel and PUCK? Or in Rachel's world 'Rachel and Noah'.

I was his friend first and I never called him Noah. Hell, I didn't even KNOW his name was Noah until we were in high school on the register when the teacher said it.

"Yeah. Now you leave hr alone 'Kay? That's for the rest of you as well!" He glares at a now terrified locker room. Most bigger than him. But, hell, I was scared.

I walk into the showers, trying to ignore the sympathetic looks Mike and Matt were giving me as Sam, who didn't really know how much I love her, was congratulating Puck, who was trying to get him to shut up.

He's looking at me, I can't even think it much as less to say

'I'm happy for-I'm HAPPY for-FUCK!'

I turn away from prying eyes and walk to the showers, turning it on, facing the shower head, hoping that the tears pouring down my face was water and not pain.


	4. 4th & 5th Reason

**Disclaimer: Not miiiiiiiiiiine! *Wipes away tear***

**Sorry for not updating sooner! So to make it up to y'all I put 4 and 5 together! Hope you like!**

Reason 4: She's Perfect

I'm watching her again. She's almost as good on video as she is in real life. Her MySpace videos are amazing. You can see the way she puts all of her energy into this ONE song, love and happiness in one video, heartbreak in another. I find one of us, we're singing Faithfully. I play it over and over again, singing my parts, silent at hers.

After ,what felt like the billionth time, I've listened o it, I scroll down and read some of the comments, some from Santana and Quinn before they became friends. They, now, put messages like 'Loving the dress! Sexy legs, Niña!' (Which I looked up means 'baby girl' in Spanish' and 'Your hair looks amazing!-Q'.

But even if they accept her, there are still some people who get pleasure at pushing down her self-confidence, destroying it. Saying things like 'You can't even sing!', 'Give up RuPaul!' (They aren't very original…) and 'Why can't you just kill yourself and make us all proud of something you could do right?'. Most of the comments, like the last one, are harsher and crueller than some of the others.

I remember hugging her when she got really upset over one that Asshat Azimo and his group of douchebags, 'Why didn't your mum just have an abortion?'. I remember how she cried all night, how she calmed me down and somehow convinced me **not** to completely destroy them. But she has him to do that for her now.

Before I can go back to self-wallowing I see a new comment go up on the screen. 'Great song, amazing as usual!' From…Puck. I search more of her videos to find that he has commented on every one. From 'Fucking brilliant, Beautiful!' to 'You look gorgeous, babe!'.

I feel that familiar burning in my chest and push it away long enough to turn off the computer and land on my bed, ready for another rough night.

Reason 5: I love her

She's dancing. She can dance as well as sing. She's dancing with Santana, Brittany cheering them on before making out with Artie, who really doesn't look like he minds. At all. I'm smiling, then Puck sits next to me, I can feel it instantly tightening. He starts cheering at them. I'm trying to hold it i.

"Go my hot little Jewish American Princess!"

He doesn't even take a breath, it's a wonder he doesn't faint. Wait, gorgeous girl in front of me and she's not mine. I can't even say 'Well done' to her without wanting to fall to my knew and beg for her back.

Mr Shue walks in, he's happy, Miss Pilsbury must have ditched her husband…why is everyone happy but me? Rachel pulls Santana to a seat only to be pulled onto Santana's lap. I want to pull Rachel on my lap. Mr Shue's voice snaps me out of my thoughts,

"So does anybody have a song today?"

The subject was heartbreak (fitting) and/or love. I put my hand up, causing most of the Gleeks to raise their eyebrows or look at me strangely.

"I do, Mr Shue." Ha, rhymed.

He smiles, slightly shocked by it, but he gestured to come to the front, "Go for it."

I take a deep breath and nod to Brad trying to avoid Rachel and Puck's faces; I open my mouth to sIng,

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just praying to a God that I don't believe in

'Cause I got time while she got freedom

'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even.

Her best days will be some of my worst

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping

'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even

…even...no"

I find myself staring at the floor, I look up at the rest of the Gleeks. Everyone but Santana, Quinn, Brittany and _them_ are tapping to the music or mouthing the words. Brittany and Quinn are just looking at me curiously, Santana is eyeing me up in a pitying way, like, she knows something I don't. Puck just looks uncomfortable, like Santana, he glances in Rachel's direction. I finally gather up enough to look at her.

She's so beautiful, she looks confused and like she's about to burst into tears. I want to run up to her and hug her, brushing the tears away, telling her how much I love her and how I'll always love her. I squeeze my eyes shut.

"What am I gonna do, when the best part of me was always you

And what am I gonna say when I'm all choked up and you're ok, yeah

I'm fallin' to pieces, yeah

I'm fallin' to pieces."

I hear a loud, smothered sob and small footsteps running out of the room, the music stops and my eyes quickly open to find Rachel's chair empty. Santana, Quinn, Brittany and Puck's eyes on me, telling me to go after her but then I remember that she's Puckermans. I stare at him only to find him staring back, I cock an eyebrow.

"Well?" I ask.

"Well, what?" Don't use short sentences on me like I'm a kid! Trying to confuse me!

"Go after your girlfriend! You know, the one that just ran out!" I tell him, thinking it was obvious.

Santana and Quinn burst out laughing, Brittany giggling, Puckerman looks confused, like he only just gets it and then he starts laughing.

'Why is he laughing?'

"_My _girlfriend. Is right here!" He pulls Santana onto his lap. She playfully slaps his hand. I wondered why Rachel kept looking at them and grinning.

"How come you're so close now then?" I ask, this is so frustrating !

"She's my best friend! Come on! Two hot Jews like us can't NOT be linked somehow!" He laughs, Santana rolls her eyes, hitting his chest.

"So you're NOT going out?" I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

"NO!" Mr Shue? What the fuck?

The whole Glee club looks at him in shock. He's never gotten into this whole mess.

"I know that I'm a teacher but COME ON! You FREAKING belong together" Raising his hand at Santana's laugh. "I did not swear. But everyone thinks it! I'm a TEACHER and I'm saying this! Go after her! NOW!" I swear I see him turning red.

Taking a quick look around the room, to see the Gleeks nodding, I nod a quick thanks and run out of the room, hearing cheers of 'Go get her!' and 'About fricking time!"

I run to the front of the school to see her. I walk slowly towards her.

I take a deep breath.

"Rach?"

**Please Review! They always make me smiiiiiiiiiile! XD And take a look at my other Glee and Harry Potter(3 3 3) fanfictions! XXX Lurve hugs to mah fellow Gleeeeeeeeks!**


	5. 1st Reason:Why we should be together

**Disclaimer: Not mine, never was and never shall be :'(**

**Now we find out whyyyyyyyyy they broke up. Will they end up together? **

_**Reason 1: Why we belong together: She loves me too**_

"Rach?"

She jumps up shocked, wiping her cheek, facing me.

"Oh! Hi, Finn!" She's got her fake smile on. I HATE that smile. It's nothing compared to her real smile. It's like a dim bulb next to her beaming grin, it used to radiate sunlight and joy.

"Stop it." I say in monotone.

"S-stop what?" She stutters shocked.

"Stop, all this!" I wave my hand around.

Her eyes tinted red, widen in fear as she takes in the sentence,

"Finn, I really don't know what you mean!" She looks terrified so I try to calm myself down.

"Why did we break up?" (I honestly have NO idea! One day we were HAPPY, then the next she's al upset and we break up!)

"If I tell you, can you promise not to get mad?" (Mad? Why would I get mad?)

"Yes! I promise! Please tell me!" (I'm begging now.)

She's tearing up again, I'm about to ask her why, but she starts talking.

"I saw Jesse." (…I don't get it. Wait, is she in love with him? 'Cause I will (To quote Santana) go all Lima Highs on his ass!)

"We got to talking and I thought that we were becoming friends." (Oh, so not in love with him. So, what IS it?) "Out of nowhere he told me that he was now the assistant of someone really important on Broadway. And that he could get me an audition!"

Her eyebrows have furrowed, her eyes have squinted and she looks like she's about to cry or scream. I don't know WHY. Isn't this good?

"I was overjoyed, obviously, and then when I was about to thank him. He Kissed me." She looks up at me unfallen tears hanging in her eyes.

WAIT! WHAT?

I look down at her in a (what I hope was a ) calm way, willing he to continue, she looks back down to the floor.

"I pulled away, about to slap him and he grabbed my arm and he said, 'Keep that for the stage, darling.' And I finally got it."

So did I. (Oh, someone's gonna die tonight.)

"And I just sat there, shaking, as he told me, 'if I wanted him to get me an audition then I would have to sl-, I'd have to have-." She squeezes her eyes shut so tightly, it looked like she was in pain. "I have to ha-ave s-sex with him." She look so broken, that I almost feel guilty that I care whether or not she DID sleep with him."

She looks back up at me, and I already know that she didn't do it, she can't have. But I have to be sure.

"Baby, did you?" I gently tilt her face up to me. Her eyes almost double in size and she shakes her head so hard, I'm scared it might fall off.

"Of course not!" She looks so small, so _damn_ tiny and vulnerable, I can't help but take her in my arms and hold her tight against me.

"Then, why?" I want to know, more than I want to…To be Quarterback!(And that's a damned lot.)

"I remembered that I was going to leave at the end of the year to go on Broadway, and that you'd still be here and I thought that the sooner I let you go, the easier it will be when I leave." She rambles in her adorable way until I lean in and kiss her, like I've been wanting to for, what seems like, forever.

"I'll follow you, all that this week has shown me is that I _**can't**_ be without you, and I will _**never**_ let you go. No matter what."

She kissed me, and I feel like I wouldn't mind if everything just dropped away until it was only me and Rachel left in the entire universe 'cause she's all that I really need. She leans away (Too fast and too early for my liking. *pout*) and asks me.

"You didn't really think I liked Noah, did you?"

I freeze and kiss her hoping that it would make her forget about that particular question. It worked.

*Insert goofy grin here*

***Fin(chel)* (Sorry, I couldn't resist XD)**

**Dedicated to Finchel-Frankenberry-Gleek, her stories are pure awesomeness! Take a look! Xxx Thanks everyone for your reviews! The story is done *wipes away tears*So please take a look at my other stories and HAVE AN AWESOME CHRIIIISTMAS! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


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